The Wounded Veteran

الجندي الجريح

كان جيفري، 36 سنة، معمدانياً. دخل الجندية عندما كان عمره 20 سنة. أرسلته حكومته الى الكويت حيث شارك في حرب الخليج الأولى. بقي هناك 18 شهراً شهد خلالها مآسي الحرب وهول الموت.

عاد جيفري الى وطنه حاملاً في طيات نفسه جراحاً وذكريات أليمة. ومنذ ذلك الوقت بدأ يعاني الكوابيس. ذهب عند الأطباء النفسيين ولكن دون جدوى. فبدأ تعاطي المخدرات في السرّ وأصبح رجلاً عنيفاً الى أن دخل السجن.

التقيت جيفري سنة 2002 فسألني: "ما زلت أحمل أثقالاً كبيرة من الماضي. كل مرة أشعر بالقلق والخوف، أدخل غرفتي، أسجد وأعترف بخطاياي للرب وأقرأ في الكتاب المقدّس. أشعر أنّ أثقالي اختفت وأختبر سلاماً. ولكن في اليوم التالي تعود الأثقال وأقلق وأخاف. ماذا أستطيع أن أفعل؟"

فأجبته: "قال الرب يسوع: تعالوا الي أيها المتعبون والمثقلون بالأحمال وأنا أريحكم. كيف تأتي الى الرب؟ أين؟"
قال: "من خلال صلاتي وقراءتي الكتاب المقدّس".
قلت: "ولكنك ما زلت تتألم من الكوابيس".

قال: "ماذا أفعل؟ رأيت العديد من الأطباء".
قلت: "قبل أن يصعد الرب يسوع الى السماء، قال لتلاميذه:  خذوا الروح القدس. من غفرتم لهم خطاياهم تغفر لهم، ومن أمسكتم عليهم الغفران يمسك عليهم (يوحنا 20 : 22-23). واليوم ما زال يسوع يرسل الكهنة ليغفر للناس زلاتهم من خلال سرّ الإعتراف".

قال: "كيف يكون ذلك؟"
قلت: "إذهب الى كاهن ترتاح اليه وأجلب حياتك للمسيح وسيعطيك يسوع راحة كما وعد".
قال: "سأستعدّ لذلك".

وبعد أسبوعين، إعترف جيفري بجميع خطاياه وأخذ الحلة.

مرّت سنتان وجاء جيفري ليقول لي: "أبونا، منذ أن إعترفت بخطاياي عندك، لم أعد أعاني الكوابيس. لقد أعطاني الرب الراحة التي وعد بها".
ثمّ أضاف: "أبونا، أريد أن أصبح كاثوليكيّاً".
قلت: "هل يحاول أحد الضغط عليك؟"
قال: "لا، إنه قرار حرّ".
قلت: "ما الذي جعلك تقرّر ذلك؟"

قال: "لم أختبر قط في الجماعات المسيحية الأخرى ما اختبرته في الكنيسة الكاثوليكية: سرّ الإعتراف وسرّ القربان".

وبعد أن أعطيته التعليم المسيحي، أصبح جيفري كاثوليكيّاً.

A WOUNDED VETERAN

A Soldier in the Gulf

 One of the most powerful stories of people who had experienced the presence of Jesus in the sacraments, is the story of Jeff, a 36-year-old American Veteran.

 Jeff was born in the USA, in a Christian Protestant family. At age 20, he was called to serve his Country in the military. He was sent to the Middle East in 1990 where he participated in the first Gulf War. He spent 18 months there where he witnessed death, helplessness, and the horror of war.

 A Broken Life

 Jeff came back to the USA carrying with him a wounded heart and painful memories. He suffered nightmares and frightening dreams. He didn’t know how to cope with these painful memories. He had to see a lot of therapists. He tried his best to avoid thoughts about his past in the Middle East. He even tried to avoid news on wars and conflicts. But still it was painful. He had no god in his life, but life can offer attractive/destructive suggestions for those who suffer: Drugs. He started using drugs in secret. He continued to suffer nightmares waking in the middle of the night grabbing his wife’s neck. Little by little, Jeff became violent. He entered Jail for domestic violence.

 A Cry For Help

 As a catholic volunteer in jail, I would meet different kind of people for counseling, hearing confessions, saying Mass, or bringing the Lord in the Eucharist to the inmates. When I met Jeff in Jail, in August 2002, he was already touched by God. When people go to jail, they have choices: to cry out to God for help or to harden their hearts. Jeff chose to cry out to God and God listened to his cry for help. It was the first time for Jeff to have a relationship with God. He started reading the Bible. God sent him good people. He gave him signs. But that was not enough.

  

 The Presence of Jesus in the Sacrament of Reconciliation                                                       

 - Father, I still carry my burdens with me. Everytime I feel overwhelmed by my nightmares and anxiety I go to my cell room and confess my sins before the Lord and read the Bible. Believe me, I feel my burdens lifted up and a sense of peace surrounds me. But the next day, my pain turns back.

 - my brother, Jesus said, come to me, all you who are burdened, and I will give you rest. Come to me, where? How?

 - I go to him by praying, by reading the Bible.

 - Do you think this is enough? You are still suffering from nightmares.

 - What do I do?

- Jesus sent his disciples to forgive people’s sins. He said: Go, forgive their sins. Today, Jesus is still sending his priests to forgive people’s sins. What we have in the Church is confession or the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

- How can I do this?

- It is simple. Find a priest you feel comfortable with and bring your whole life to the Lord Jesus in this sacrament. The Lord  will keep his promise: ‘I will give you rest.’

 After a long preparation, Jeff brought his whole life to Jesus in confession. He received forgiveness. It was a powerful experience for him. After 2 years, Jeff told me that he stopped having nightmares since he received this sacrament of confession. He said, ‘since that confession, my burdens were gone away though temptations remained. No more nightmares. It was a powerful moment in my life.’

 The Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist

   In December 2002, it was the first time I brought the Eucharist in Jail. There were around 35 inmates, men and women, most of them were non-Catholics. Jeff was among them. They all sat down in the presence of Jesus the Eucharist. There was no need for them to read books of theology to understand this mystery of the real presence. They just experienced it and talked about it. Most men and women cried. They had a deep sense of unity and peace. Many went to confess their sins. It was calm in the presence of the Lord. For Jeff, that night was very important in his life. After a year and a half, he said, I felt Jesus sitting beside me that night. There was a strong peace that I’ve never experienced before. There was that powerful presence of Jesus. It was beautiful.

 As a Maronite Catholic priest, I do not push people into my religion. I like to be a friend of the atheist, the Hindu, the Muslim, the Jew, of any human being. But I also like my friends to have the opportunity to taste the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist.

 One night, Jeff came to me and said,

-‘Father, I made an important decision. I want to become a Catholic.’

- Why Jeff? Did anyone try to push you into Catholicism? Did I?

- No, no one did that.

- What was the thing that led you to make that kind of decision?

- That night, when you brought the Body of Christ from the church, I felt like Jesus was sitting beside me. I’ve never experienced that presence of Jesus anywhere except in the Catholic Church. That night, I made my decision.

 Jeff started taking catechism classes. He entered the Catholic Church in June 7, 2003.

 Thank you Lord for your love for Veterans, especially for those who experienced the horror of wars and still carrying their painful memories. You say to all of these beloved Veterans: Come to me, all you who are burdened, and I will give you rest. Yes, Lord, you promised to give rest and peace to all those who come to you. But where? How do we come to you? In the sacrament of Reconciliation and the Sacrament of the Eucharist.